We have all had our fair share of heartbreaks in life. Some of those heartbreaks for me occurred early in childhood. From junior high to high school, I dated two girls. If you follow my reading or have been to one of my speeches, you will know a lot about two women in my life. Melissa is the g genesis of my early childhood authentic relationships. The physical and mental components involved were life-changing. Melissa and I, through all the ups and downs, have remained great friends and often talk about our kids growing up and how times have changed.
We are forever connected. Our relationship when young, was the epitome of pure love and friendship. That fundamental relationship lasted from 7th grade till 10th grade. We dated later in life, and it was magical, but my inability to forgive myself for how things ended affected me. She deserved someone who never hurt her. After coming back from my deployment from Iraq, I finally forgave myself. She forgave many years ago. She is one of the most critical soulmates in my life, and we both understand that importance.
For clarification, Melissa was a soulmate because she understood me like no one else. Our connection of minds and mutual respect and unconditional love was supreme. This love was enduring and magnetic.
The other relationship is not easy to write about, it never has. When I do speeches on topics about this teenage love, I find myself in deep sadness and absolute regret. You may ask why would you be sad and regretful about a relationship from high school. We all have that one relationship when we are young that takes you from one dimension of life into another. It’s a transcendent moment in a boy’s life that one will never forget.
To this day, we are not friends and have never talked. I felt the desire to bridge the gap in October of 2007 after coming back from combat. Combat changed me in so many ways. I thought about her while I was there as well as Melissa. These two amazing people meant so much to me 11 years after our lives crossed. I grew as a person and through actions went from boyhood to manhood in this other relationship.
I tried to fix things as did with Melissa, and we did it through a lot of tears and in-depth communication. Honesty, transparency, forgiveness, and love for each other bridged the gape.
It’s been 23 (1995) years since the day I set my eyes on Marie, but the story of is still essential. There other surprising stories and learning opportunities about our relationship, but this is not one of them.
I was sitting at home in my room, writing in my personal journal. The journal that originated from my life with Melissa. I was writing about Marie and basketball experiences in Varsity Basketball. My mom came into my room and told me I had a phone call. I didn’t receive phone calls much, so I wasn’t sure who it was. Marie and I talked on the phone early in our relationship, but as it got more serious, we did most of our talking in person.
I asked my mom, “Who is it?” She replied, “It’s her” That voice was her telling me in her way she was still upset from Melissa and I parting ways. Melissa was her daughter and friend. In the eye’s of our parents, we were going to last and walk down the aisle. Truth is we both felt that way.
I picked up the phone “Hello” there was an odd pause, but I could hear breathing. “Marie, is that you?” “she replied, ” Yes, David; it’s me.” “Is everything okay babe?” “David, you know I love you, right?” her voice seemed tired. “Yes, babe I love you so much you know that” She seemed to gather her strength “I have to tell you something” “What’s up?” The pause was deafening. “David, I cheated on you with another guy?” “Say what?” “David, I am so sorry, I love you, I..” It was there at the moment that I had to dig deep to ask what kind of cheat. As if any cheating is terrible, but there was one cheating experience you can not coming back from.
“Okay, A kiss or something?” She started to cry, and I couldn’t stand her crying. It was my weakest vulnerability with Marie. Her pretty softy and beautiful eyes always showed emotion and truthfulness. “Meria, don’t cry, what happened.” I could tell that she was beside herself and whatever it was it was the worst possible cheat. Every man or boy knows it. I didn’t even ask who. I knew none of my boys would ever do me wrong and loved me like a brother, so it was someone outside our circle of trust.
I sat down the ground next to bed with tears coming down my face. I couldn’t even hold the phone. I finally got brave enough to ask a question no 16 or 17-year-old boy should. So many things raced through my head. I loved Marie more than anything, she was my direction and stability during tough times at home and on the team. She was the main reason I was doing so well in basketball. She motivated me to work harder then I had ever done on the court.
“Marie, please don’t tell me…did you…no way.” I couldn’t even say it right, because I didn’t want to bring it in reality. “David, I am so sorry.”
I broke down and started crying as I had never had before. Everything in my life was falling apart. I was dizzy and so confused. I put the phone down to gather myself. I could hear her small delicate voice on the phone. “David, are you there?” I wanted to explode with anger but remain calm. I picked up the phone and closed my eyes. “Can I come over Marie? “David, I don’t know..” “Don’t know what Marie?” She didn’t respond. “I am coming over, we need to talk now.” I hung up.
I walked out of the room and told my mother that I needed to go to Marie’s house. My mom didn’t hesitate a minute, and we jumped in the honda and made our way 5 minutes up the road.
My mother knew something was mad, so she did her best to get information out of me. “David is something wrong with Marie?” I started to cry and hit my leg on the floor of the car. “Did she cheat on you, David?” She knew what heartbreak looked like, and now her son was feeling this pain. ” Yes, mom Marie told me she kissed or did something to some guy” My mom in her amazing ways of added her thoughts.
“I knew from the start that girl would hurt you. She was with you because she’s a cheerleader and you are a Varsity basketball player. David, you should have never have left our Melissa, she loves you more than anything still. The only time you ever cried was when she went to Colorado to see her grandpa.”
Through my tears, I looked up at her, and she was so angry, but the words hit home. I gave up the most perfect girl in my life only to feel this. It was then the anger started to explode in my body, and it happened to be as my mom rolled up on Marie’s house.